dr's appt

so, yesterday i took collin to the dr, primarily b/c i needed to get a form filled out for preschool, but also b/c he's been having temper tantrums where he beats his head on the couch. i also mentioned to her that he has had several episodes (b/w 5-10) where he just kinds of zones out and you can't seem to get his attention. she said that based upon my medical history that she feels like it would be best to send him for a consult w/a pediatric neurologist to make sure he's not having any seizures. i really kind of feel like he's not b/c when he snaps about of these spells (10-15 sec) he is completely aware of where he is, etc...; there is no kind of disorientation. of more concern to me is that she gave me paperwork on autism and mentioned something about him being seen/evaluated by a pediatric developmental neurologist. i really just don't feel like this is necessary b/c he has not exhibited any signs of what i know of autism other than the hitting his head (which EVERYONE has said it just a stage most all kids go through). i just really feel like that's something that went undiagnosed for so long that they really try to overdo it now. if there is something wrong w/him i most definitely want him to be seen/treated for this but, if not, i don't want to put him through a lot of unnecessary testing. not only would that be rather traumatic for him but it will also be very expensive. anyway, i called back to talk to the cnp again today b/c i just am not sure what her final thought was yesterday since she said she thought he was fine but then gave me paperwork on that. argh! they just don't have any answers and, as such, talk in circles. so far she hasn't called back but i hope i can get something a little more concrete at that time.

Rain, Rain Go Away

i am soooooooooooooooooooooooo tired of this rain. while i understand that we really need this enough is kind of enough. i'm sitting here w/the tv on and my regular shows are not on b/c the local news stations are seeing this as great opportunity to interrupt programming b/c there has been one tornado sighting w/NO damage. i have not been outside in 2 days and am really, really looking forward to getting out this afternoon (even if it is just to take collin to the dr). i never used to think that my mood was that affected by the weather but, i'm seeing clearly now, that it most DEFINITELY is. :-(

I did it!

we/i finally enrolled collin in preschool. i am sooooo nervous about this b/c i just keep thinking what happens if we made the wrong decision. i know if it doesn't work out we can just take him back out but....i just worry way too much about everything.

the school itself seems really nice and collin had a good time when he was there. he is so outgoing and social that i'm sure he'll be fine and that i'll be the one that's a nervous wreck. the funny thing is that i think jared is more worried than me. part of it may be that he's not actually been to the place yet and hasn't actually spoken with anyone other than me about it but i think we both just want to keep him little a bit longer b/c he is just growing up so fast. seems like just yesterday we brought him home from the hospital. it hit me the other day that one day (all too soon) i'm going to have to let him go off to college (my only hope is that he chooses to go somewhere close by).

we go to open house tomorrow night to meet the teachers and, presumably, some of the other parents. i hope that he has good kids in his class and a good mix of people. the director told me that their 5 day 2 yr old class last year had 8 girls and 2 boys. hopefully his class will be a little more balanced.

despite my fears i'm really hoping that this will allow him to grow and flourish outside of me. i am so overprotective that i feel that i really limit him physically. when i see other little boys his age they seem much more physically adept and i know a HUGE part of that is that every time he takes off running i tell him to stop, don't run, etc.... i'm also really excited to see how/if he takes a huge leap in verbal skills from being around other kids. time will tell, i guess.

i'll just have to make wed super special since that's the first day of school. at least i changed my work schedule so that i'll be able to work while he's gone...otherwise i think i'd probably pull my hair out!